Kate’s Breasts Are Not The Real Problem

Following on from last week’s revelation that Prince Harry has a bottom, the nation is, today, reeling from the news that his sister-in-law, Kate, Duchess of Cambridge has breasts.

The French version of Closer magazine has published topless pictures, which they say were taken of the Duchess and her husband whilst they were enjoying a break at the chateau of the Queen’s cousin, Lord Linley, in the South East of France.

Closer also has an English version, which is not directly connected (financially at least) but presumably, it was thought to be ‘safer’ to publish the pictures in France, where it’s generally considered they show more appreciation of a Royal breast.

Some say publication of the pics is all the more surprising as the privacy laws in France are much more stringent than in the UK.

Of course, as always, there is the predictable outrage being voiced by establishment figures and readers of the Telegraph and the Mail.

A spokesperson for St James’ Palace stated: “Their Royal Highnesses have been hugely saddened to learn that a French publication and a photographer have invaded their privacy in such a grotesque and totally unjustifiable manner.” while the French editor of Closer said: “These photos are not in the least shocking. They show a young woman sunbathing topless, like the millions of women you see on beaches.”

Whichever side of the argument you advocate, it seems everyone is missing the most important points:

1. This is the second time in as many weeks that security of the Royals has been exposed as being less than adequate.

2. The photographer who took these shots could just as easily have been looking down the sights of a rifle as down the lens of a camera.

The Royal couple are said to be furious about the publication of such private pics, but maybe it’s time they started being ‘furious’ at the repeated failings of the security team, who have the responsibility for preventing such opportunities.

Kate’s breasts are not the real problem – a lack of good security is.

Personally, I would rather topless pictures were published of a living, breathing, Duchess than those of our nation in mourning for yet another Queen-in-waiting.

It is, however, doubtful that the world’s terrorists would agree.